Neutral Ground

Neutral Ground meets at the Educational Building adjacent to the First Baptist Church of Rochester, 175 Allen's Creek Road, Brighton, every Thursday except Thanksgiving, from 7-9PM. (Map)

Many “single again” people find it difficult to cope with the anguish and uncertainties of losing a partner and fear facing the world alone. It is widely recognized that the loss of a partner ranks high on the list of distress producing life events. Feelings of isolation, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, confusion and loss of self-esteem are common among people who are separated, divorced, widowed or singles ending a long-term relationship.

Since 1974, Neutral Ground has provided non-sectarian groups for people to express and share their thoughts and feelings and to develop a firmer foundation on which to rebuild their lives. Annual membership is $30, and is required to join a closed group. Your membership provides your with a monthly newsletter, and a discount a some special social functions that are subsidized by Neutral Ground.

Open Groups

For those members whose schedules make it impossible to commit to regular attendance, and for new members joining between closed group registration sessions, open groups are provided. A $4 donation is requested at each open group meeting.

ORIENTATION - Your first attendance at Neutral Ground will usually be at Orientation, where you will learn more about what Neutral Ground is, and what we do. Orientation is one evening only, a meeting that will usually last for about two hours. In Orientation you will learn that Neutral Ground is broken up into two types of groups called "Open Groups" and "Closed Groups." You will also learn about membership in Neutral Ground, how to register for different groups, how to become a facilitator or committee member, et cetera.

STARTING OVER - This group is for those still working through the crisis issues of a breakup, a separation or divorce. It is also a holding group for those waiting to sign up for a closed group (between sessions). You are not committed to a 9 week session, do not have to join Neutral Ground immediately and can come when it is possible.

WIDOW/WIDOWER - This is an open/closed group for those who have lost their significant other through death. Topics discussed will include, but not be limited to: grief, loneliness, relationships with family and friends and rebuilding your life after loss. Group input for topics to be discussed is highly encouraged. Currently there is no Widow / Widowers group. We hope to have another group in the future. However depending on your situation you may join either Starting Over, Advanced Open, or our Game Group.  Our Orientation facilitator will be able to help guide you in your choice. We are in the process of collecting a group of resources for those who need it. 

ADVANCED OPEN – This is for individuals who are members who wish not to commit to a closed group but wish to attend to discuss issues in our lives as singles. Generally, this is for people not in the early stages of dealing with the loss of a relationship. It has a variety of topics and facilitators.

Closed (Recovery) Groups

The foundation of Neutral Ground is the “closed group,” an informal peer support group led by trained peer facilitators. Closed groups meet from 7 to 9 P.M. for 8 to 10 weeks on Thursday evenings. They provide an opportunity for members to share their experiences and feelings in a supportive and confidential setting.

The following groups form three times yearly, in September, January and April. Summer groups are available for July and August. The fee for a closed group is $30. Registration dates may be obtained by calling (585) 234 - 2212 or on this website.

FIRST GROUP – This is for the individual who is a member of Neutral Ground and dealing with painful issues and grief due to loss of a relationship. Significant healing begins in this group. There is a lot of “bonding” in First Group and it is here that you may meet and make lifetime friends.

REBUILDING I – Covers chapters 1 - 10 of REBUILDING, by Drs. Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti. This group deals primarily with the emotional fallout from loss of a relationship and how to deal with the anger, fear, guilt, etc. This is a closed group for individuals who have gone through the Widow/Widowers or First Group.

REBUILDING II – This group is for those who have completed Rebuilding I. It covers chapters 11 - 20 of REBUILDING, This group primarily deals with the tasks and problems of creating and sustaining a new healthy life as a single person.

SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS - Special interest groups are designed for members to discuss specific topics (e.g., building self-esteem, sexuality, stress reduction, dating). These groups are formed as members’ interests dictate. In most cases, it is required that participants have completed at least one closed group before registering for special interest groups. Groups are announced in our monthly newsletter and on this website.

Special Programs

Several times a year Neutral Ground presents special programs featuring speakers on topics of interest to our members. These programs are also held on Thursdays, 7 to 9 P.M. Special Programs are announced in advance in our newsletter and on the website.

Social Activities

Neutral Ground’s social committee plans special events each month. The activities are designed to help develop close personal friendships, to enrich each member’s growth in the singles social life, and to provide a safe and comfortable environment.

Our social activities include parties, trips, tours, theater, wine and cheese parties, dinners, cards, games, sports events, and special holiday events as well as our monthly dance. A monthly newsletter, e-mail and our website inform members of these events. Updated lists of upcoming events are available on Thursday at Neutral Ground as needed.

Members are encouraged to participate in suggesting and planning social events, and are always welcome to join our social committee.